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Dear Dave,
My husband and I have been married for a couple of years. In that time, we’ve received several gifts of cash from our parents. Each time this happens, my husband and I talk about what to do with the money. I came into the marriage with some debt, and we still have about $8,000 in credit card bills and student loans to pay off. During our last discussion, I told him I felt like we should keep paying off debt with the money, but he said he wants to treat it like found money this time. He wants to have fun with it. How do you feel about this?
Simone
Dear Simone,
In my mind, unless the giver has very specific wishes on how they’d like you to use the money, then it’s up to you guys. It’s a decision you two should make together. I assume, since you didn’t mention otherwise, you’ve made a habit of using these gifts to pay off debt. If that’s the case, I can understand how it may have thrown you for a loop.
I’m proud of you two for being so diligent in using your parents’ gifts to help pay off debt. On the other hand, I understand it can become tiring to feel like you’re working and sacrificing day after day in pursuit of a goal. I’m not sure how much you had in debt originally, but $8,000 really isn’t that much when you think about it. If you have a decent household income, you should be able to pay off the remaining debt in less than a year!
It sounds like your husband just needs a little pep talk. I’m sure he’s a good guy. And the fact that he’s been right there with you on this journey to gain control of your finances tells me he has discipline and determination, too. Try sitting down with him and having a good heart-to-heart talk. Ask him why he changed his mind about how to use the money this time. Remind him of how close you two are to becoming debt-free. Let him know how proud you are of him for everything he’s done.
If there’s something you need, you agree on it together and choose to buy it as a couple, that’s fine. I’ve got no problem with that. But you shouldn’t go out and blow a bunch of cash—gifted or not—on toys and other fun just because it was handed to you by mom and dad. You’ve got bills to pay, and those obligations should come first.
At this point, you can see the finish line, Simone. Please, don’t slow down now. I promise this last little grind will be worth it!
— Dave
